War...

Sleeping time for most of the people is the time where they go to bed and sleep, but if you have a brain that works in the night, then sleeping time is the torturing time, and that’s what happens to me every single day, I just try to sleep and simply my brain start to work and think about everything, and with everything I mean everything, even about my neighbor starving cat!. Insomnia, it’s the worst thing that can happen to you when you are tired or you have next day appointment.

After several tries I slept, and next day there was a surprise for me, the day I never wanted it to come, or I at least not at the age of 27… My first white hair! Just on the side, long, brave, raising, and daring me “Hey, you are not young anymore!” well, I have to admit that I got depressed for 30 seconds, then I was fine after I pulled it off and flush it in the toilet watching it begging me to take care of its future kids! And I decided to take that war against the white hair knowing that failure is not possible, winning is what I’m good at, and I won’t let a stupid white hair stopping me from leaving home with a 22 years old college girl to tell her about my Architectural achievements.

I reached to this point, where age passed fast without giving me the chance to notice, there was no further alarm, or warning, just a white popping hair at a sudden, and I can’t even remember when did I turn 27, I thought I will be stuck at the age of 25, actually I still believe that I’m 25 not caring what my passport says, or how many candles on my birthday cake, in fact I think it’s Karma, or sort of punishment, because I used to look for white hair in my father’s hair and say “daddy, you got one here, ohh and another one here!” what a mean kid I was…Forgive me dad!

I went to have a coffee in a fancy place where all teenagers go to drink coca cola, ordered my double espresso and sat on the corner reminiscing my teenage, and how I was so fresh and active in everything, without having a problem to sleep, or a lying mirror showing me a white hair, I really wished to go back to 18, but then I knew the secret of success is self-satisfaction, and there I went with my thoughts, how did it happen all at a sudden? How did I grow up this fast? Are white hair measure age? Or does your soul? Will a Wella solve that issue and make you young again?

Routine is something I never knew in my old life in Dubai, every day is a different day with different timings for everything, but since I’m here in Sweden, I noticed that I’m a routine person, I eat at the same time every day, and I shower every day at the same time, so I figured that is one reason that I can’t remember how did I spend a year in Sweden, typical days actions make it look very similar that almost it looks like one day, and if you also add the less actions according to Sweden lifestyle, then it’s solved, that was the two reasons that I can’t really figure out how did that last year pass so fast.

A normal joyful person who love this life with all its meanings definitely wants his life to pass very slowly and enjoy every second of it, though it will pass anyway, and everything have an expiry date, even humans, but how to convince yourself is the problem, and to solve that you need to not think about it by doing more interesting things in your life and break the routine if you have it in your life, at least like what Swedes do, they don’t walk the dog in the same time every day, they make it interesting by taking the dog to a different park to leak on a different tree every day, and I can imagine what a feeling it gives the dog!

I decided to color my hair when I get old, or maybe the next white hair that I see, but what counts is the soul, like my friend Roland, 63 and scores 22, he is a legend, and I believe that despite your hair color, you should have a young soul that smiles all the time and sings with the birds in the morning, you will have that when you have a self-satisfaction, you will always know that every age has it’s activity, and you will stop cutting off the white hair and flush it in the toilet… and you will go to sleep like a baby when you have suffered Insomnia…and that’s what I will do tonight…

Folks, I was Wrong, I'm telling you...

Every flag has a story that reflects the culture and the philosophy of its country, people wave it in football matches and many other events, the story of each flag tells you the whole history of the country in few colors mixed together, let’s take Sweden as an example, blue is the symbol of Loyalty and the yellow cross shape represents the generosity…

The color meanings are history, but what reminds me of the present in Swedish flag is people’s looks which I personally think that it represent their flag, or it reminds me of it, especially when I take a walk and look at the native Swedes, I see them in yellow and blue, and I think that if I take a picture of any one of them, print it on a fabric and put a stick to it and wave, I will be representing Sweden. They are all with blue eyes, and a yellow hair, just like their flag…

In such a cold country, when somebody calls you to go out and have fun, then do it because it doesn’t happen so often, and that’s what I did when Magnus called me, I just left all the work that I had to do, showered, wore the nice clothes and went to meet him, we had fun walking near the beach and later on, the beer made it more fun, actually it started when he said “Let’s go clubbing”…

The best part of clubbing in Sweden that you will definitely meet and socialize with a lot of people, specially blondes, and that’s exactly what I did, I socialized with Swedish flags, but it went somehow far that I met an interesting, NOT drunk girl that I really like the way she talks, winks and not dance because I didn’t see her dancing as we spend the whole night sitting on the stairs beside the bar where it’s just little quite to talk, and I can’t even forget how beautiful she was with all her natural pink lips, and soft skin, well, I admit, she mesmerized me, ohh yes she did!

The party is over, time to go home, and yes, she is joining me which could have made  my score higher in my playing book, but I chose not to add her to the list because I thought she is different, and such an interesting person, which she proved it. We reached home and all what we did was watching the TV, nothing more but some warm feelings giving it to each other, folks, I’m telling you that it was amazing, but the feeling didn’t answer my questions, Shall I go ahead, try to expand this feeling and change its location to the bedroom? Or shall I be patient and get her number before she leaves and tell her that I would love to meet her again? What if she refuses? What if she was like the rest of women who I had for a night? And why I’m good at telling my friends GEV and Sherif “bang her, just do it, do it for me” and I can’t do it for myself this time?

To answer all my questions I had to try kissing her from the cheek and go for more till she stops me and that was what she did after the cheeks level which gave me the feeling that I was mistaken to try, folks, again I was wrong, so I decided to make jokes about the situation to clear the miss understanding, and at that time I remember that she was laying on my chest, watching the TV and scratching my arms in a sexy way…Folks, I was confused, I’m telling you…

Around 7 am, it was the time she wanted to leave, so I walked her out and had a smoke with her till her bus came, and she left while I was looking at her sitting in the bus, what a romantic sight!, or that’s what I felt, and folks, I was wrong again, because that was the last time I saw her, she never returned any of my calls, or messages, and I can’t find any reason for that, I even wish to know what made her change her mind and break her promise of calling me after she woke up. Since then, I knew that my ability to resist such a blonde is semi-impossible, so I decided to keep a distance between me and this scary creature and announce my surrender, folks, I was wrong, and that was the story of the White Flag…True Story…

Meet Jemy...

A beautiful Saturday deserves a nice walk, and that’s exactly what I did after I finished drinking my coffee in the morning, and since it was sunny I decided also to go out only with a jumper refusing to wear my jacket knowing the fact that I might regret it, but I did it anyway to convince myself that feeling cold is a not that huge problem according to my other problems, at least it’s easier than asking my blonde neighbor out for a dinner.

On the way down in the elevator, it stopped to see a young 13 years old girl came in with a smile and the regular “Hej” and came all the way down with me to the ground level, once we opened the building main door she turned to me and asked me gently, “Can I have a cigarette?”, first how did she know that I smoke, and second she is hardly 13 which make her illegal to smoke, so definitely I refused to give her and told her an advice that probably she forgot it the moment she went on her way...Why would she listen, I am still not listening…

After I got my milk from the store waiting the line to pay for it, I witnessed a warm meeting between a woman and a man in their middle 30 who seemed to be out of touch for a long time, like they were a college couples or something, and they started to speak about what they are doing in their lives, and how they have been. Once they reached the exit she said to him “meet Jemy”, yes, jemy was that black scary dog who was barking outside the store, and I could see that jemy didn’t like the guy, so she started shouting at jemy asking him to sit down and to stop barking, but let’s say in a bad way.

The minute I came up with the elevator back to my apartment I knew that there is a connection between the girl who asked me for the cigarette, and Jemy the dog, with a second cup of coffee my mind started giving me some questions like, How many times the girl’s father shouted at her for smoking? Why didn’t I listen to my father when he also shouted? Can Jemy be more obedient than me and the 13 years old kid? Is adopting a pet considered to be the right way that makes human control others because they can’t control their kids? Is it like Sadism? Or a way of it? Ok, what happens if Jemy don’t obey his master, and what happens if the girl doesn’t listen to her parents?

Being raised in a middle eastern country where most of fathers prefer the old classical way of raising a teenager like kicking butts when necessary made me believe that it’s not the right way, but seeing your 13 years old kid smoking definitely make you get mad that you might do any stupid thing to stop it, at least if you really care, and having a dog won’t solve the issue of your kids not listening to you. I have a friend who is really bad to his dog, he puts for him the food and ask him not to eat until he says so while when he cooks for his kids they don’t listen to him and they just start eating while he is washing the left over dishes!, I can’t even believe it that when he is mad at his kids he says to them that he loves the dog more for being behaved more than them! And he is more discipline!

The one thing that was a mystery to me is why would a family get a dog when they have their own children, other than protection reason? Which a man himself can take care of that, to me it was un reasonable to see a woman French-kissing a Bulldog in the middle of the park and few minutes later she kisses the guy next to her on the bench while the kid is sleeping in the stroller, well, if there is that much of love in the parents hearts they should give it all to the kid not sharing it with a dog just because he shake his tail, obey them more, and easier to get rid of it when it pees on their luxury sofa. Definitely I am not saying to be rude with animals, but they shouldn’t be on the top of the list neither sharing the love parents.

The girl, and the dog has almost the same life style when it comes about being home, except that the girl has to wash dishes sometimes while the dog bark when the elevator beeps, and probably if they both lived in the same house, the dog might be more lovable to the parents just because it sits when asked to do… well, in my opinion splitting the love you have in your heart between a dog and your own kid is more rude than beating them to make them stop smoking…Eller hur?

Quitting Chess...

I usually keep myself busy with a lot of things like my Job, future planning, and social life, but when I am not busy, then its “Chess Time”, the one which comes along with Microsoft Windows that I really enjoy,  and I always try to break the highest record which is really hard that is making me tired of it and about to give up and let it go, because sometimes it doesn’t seem right, or it’s not making any sense to beat up a computer which is designed to be smarter than the human minds, sometimes I feel that the computer knows what is my next step according to the possibilities theory.

In chess as most of you know, there is two armies, black and white, and they are fighting all the time, a battle between life and death, and there where I paused the game and took a look at the screen when I was about to checkmate, and gave a thought about it, can I click on the queen and ask her to shake the king’s hand and say “Let’s Be Friends”? And why he didn’t turn the other cheek for me to slap as Jesus said? Or can she say “hey, I am throwing a party, you can bring all your knights so they can mingle with my Bishops!” What an amazing game it will be when the king says to the queen “I get the door, ladies first”.

I thought of quitting chess, because I realized that it teaches me how to fight and even have the tactics of letting the enemy down and checkmate him with no mercy, and attack him from different angles, and also it sounded racist! Why it’s black and white? Why they are not red and blue? Why always the white looks innocent in it? And the black is the devilish ones that you have to attack and get the evil out of the table, oh my God, that’s exactly United Stated of America in 1950’s or Denmark in 1990’s and Sweden in 2000’s, where the whites are the right ones, and anything else is evil and shall not be welcomed...

It’s a topic that every Swede avoid to discuss with anybody, even with himself, so he is not willing to know the truth neither he cares about it as long as he is living happy, but what if the white people are the devilish ones? According my friend Roland who is a native Swede that Swedes in Trelleborg were known for smuggling cigarettes and Alcohol in 1950’s, which means they were all white, or was it considered as a few good people doing favors to each other’s? It confuses me sometimes the way people are grouped in Sweden, and makes me feel like there are two groups, one is evil, and the other is the kind innocent one.

Having friends from all over the world make you learn cultures, and understand people thinking, which will lead you to improve your way of living according to other’s experiences, and thanks to my friend from Azerbaijan who taught me how to cook scrambled eggs using water instead of oil, actually it helped me the other day when I had no oil and I was so hungry, so there is nothing bad of being a friend with somebody who comes from another culture, actually it helps you in many ways.

I remember when I was living in Dubai between that huge number of mixed races and cultures, everybody like everybody, and everybody is invited to some friend home to taste his ethnic food, and a few imported drinks, that was fun, I wish if I can do that here, and if everybody here in Sweden try to get more involved with other cultures and see the beautiful things in it, and not to think that there is two group of people, and one of them is Evil that must be avoided, which will lead the other group to feel the same and then it’s going nowhere…

So, Here I am, Quitting chess, I don’t want to fight, I want to shake the Knight’s hand, hang out with the pawns, and have a night with the queen, hoping that one day I start the game to see all the elements are in gray…